


Hurricane

by FigureSgayts



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Other, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Queerplatonic Relationships, Sensory Overload, being bro because Alex needs comfort, gay and poly qp bros, look let them all be gay okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 00:31:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6682246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FigureSgayts/pseuds/FigureSgayts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Then the world seems to freeze. Alex squints his eyes, just slightly tilting his head up when he stops hearing John’s snoring and Hercules’ typing, when Lafayette is no longer singing loudly and purposefully out of key. As he does so, it all comes back to him, but very much amplified.</p>
<p>The typing is a loud <i>tick, tick, tick, tick</i> in Alex’s ears, growing louder with every finger tap to the keys, <i>tick, tick, tick, tick, tick</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hurricane

**Author's Note:**

> Quick little bit written up for my friend. Love ya, babe ;*
> 
> I literally... Could not think of a title. So...

Alex stares at the book in laying open in front of him. Stares, not reads, his mind beginning to be unable to really comprehend the words on the page in front of him. It’s not really his fault, not with Hercules insistently tapping away at his laptop, John laying half on his lap, asleep and letting out a small snore, and Lafayette obnoxiously singing along to their music, not even a foot away from him. And Alex himself is partly to blame, his senses on high alert for whatever reason, hyper aware of everything as if he hadn’t taken his medicine earlier in the day. Which he had done.

He starts shaking his leg, a nervous habit that shakes the entire bed that Alex, John, and Lafayette are sitting on, but nobody's complaining. Well, nobody awake, at least. Alex is sure that John ends up getting just a little louder while his body is going in time with Alexander’s leg, but he doesn’t wake up, so Alex doesn’t find any need to stop. It helps him focus on the book, on the chapter he needs to finish for his pre-law class next week.

Then the world seems to freeze. Alex squints his eyes, just slightly tilting his head up when he stops hearing John’s snoring and Hercules’ typing, when Lafayette is no longer singing loudly and purposefully out of key. As he does so, it all comes back to him, but very much amplified.

The typing is a loud _tick, tick, tick, tick_ in Alex’s ears, growing louder with every finger tap to the keys, _tick, tick, tick, tick, tick_. John is loud, louder than Hercules, but no pattern, no tick, only unorganized loud snoring. Loud. And Lafayette is the loudest. Alex can hear the music through coming from their headphones, ever move of an arm, every shake of head, every twitch with that stupidly loud _tick, tick, tick, tick_. The sound might as well be coming from inside Alex’s head with how clear it is, how despite it being the quietest, it pierces through the other sounds, through the low buzz of the old heater that needs to be fixed, through John, through Lafayette. _Tick, tick, tick, tick._

Alex opens his mouth to complain, to tell them all to shut up, to wake up John to shut him up, but he finds he can’t speak. He can’t breath either, he can’t breath, oh god. Why can’t he breath. A pain erupts in his chest, a panic ripping through his body, and Alex takes in a sharp, desperate breath, and grips his hand tightly to his pants leg, squeezing hard and his eyes widen and why can’t he continue breathing, can’t think, can’t breath, can’t do anything, frozen, can barely move.

It’s a mess of everything and nothing going through Alex’s mind. Panic fear, annoyance, fear, the want to breath, panic, fear, fear. He doesn’t know why he’s scared.

Another shaky breath, and Alex looks down at his hands and sees he’s shaking. Bad. He can’t call out for help. It all hurts, his head hurts, his chest hurts, his body hurts, and tears are coming to his eyes and he can’t stop shaking. And the noise doesn’t stop. It’s too much, too much at once and Alex clenches his eyes shut letting out a small whimper as the light hits his eyes. It burns, it all burns, his very thoughts hurt and burn and every breath he can take in and out is light fire, every sound lighting his brain up.

He doesn’t know when John wakes up. He’s not even really aware of what’s going around him anymore. He can hear it all, but it doesn’t make any sense to him. He can’t tell where any of it is coming from. It doesn’t feel real, he doesn’t feel real, nothing seems real yet it still hurts him and he hurts, he’s scared, Alex wants to run but can’t. Why can’t he move.

“Alex.” It’s Lafayette voice. Alongside that stupid tick. It’s so stupid and annoying.

Alex squeezes his eyes tighter, and his hands fly to his ears to block out the sounds, digging his nails into the side of his head. Still shaking.

Then there’s a hand over his, too large to be anybody of Hercules, and Alex carefully draws his hands away. There is no tick, but he still can’t think over that damn hea-

“Are you okay, Alex?” John this time. Alex shakes his head sharply. “Can you speak?” Another shake. 

Alex reaches his hand out and takes a hard hold on John’s hand, and squeezes hard, trying to filter out the pain, give it away, tranfer it. “Hey, careful there, baby girl,” John laughs, but doesn’t try and move his hand.

There’s a hand in Alex’s hair, one that feels like it belongs to Lafayette, and Hercules has made himself settled to Alex’s right, Lafayette behind him, and when did that happen? Not that Alex really cares. He slowly leans into Hercules, still shaking but, not as violently now. He still can’t think, but he can feel, and the touch isn’t anywhere near as bad as the sounds, and he even dares to open his eyes. Through tear clouded eyes, Alex turns his head to look at John, who has a soft smile on his face that’s trying to mask the worry is held in his gaze.

John is real. Alex is real. Hercules is solid, is real, and Lafayette is here. It’s all… there. Everything is here. 

“I... Hurts… Tired,” Alex whispers, closing his eyes again, tired more than in pain. Hercules is large behind the slight man, and pulls him out of a sitting position so that he’s resting his head on the larger man’s thigh. Alex also notes that he’s no longer shaking, and when Alex’s hair becomes inaccessible to Lafayette, they go for rubbing small circles on Alex’s stomach through his shirt.

Alex lets go of John’s hand, curling into Hercules and letting out a small grunt of satisfaction when John moves behind him to rub at his back.

“There you go, you’re okay,” Hercules says gently, hand resting on Alex’s head. Alex doesn’t make a noise, just nods his head in agreement. It is better, yeah.

He feels a small kiss on his hip, likely Lafayette, and smiles softly into Hercules, before drifting to sleep to a small “Nous t’aimons, notre petit lion.”


End file.
